bye bye baby

I said goodbye to the baby girl I nanny. That was hard for me. This whole process is beginning to become emotionally very sad. I feel as though it is all come by so fast. I am not doing well with saying goodbye and I used to be so good at them. I used to be so emotionally unattached, I would have to make myself cry in order for people to see that I really do care for them. I have made few, but deep relationships this time around and I am sad to let them go. If you know me, you know I don't do well with shallow relationships, they make me feel awkward and uncomfortable which is usually the opposite for most. Anyway, I am getting a little bit of cold feet. My emotions are screaming to stay and get a regular 9 to 5 job so I can live on my own and start a life here, but my soul is telling me otherwise. It's true how our emotions crowd our judgment. Our emotions can keep us from making decisions that would change our lives for the better. I am more of a do what you feel type woman, but sometimes reason out weighs feelings. Most would probably think opposite in my case, that it is wise to stay and crazy to go. Brendan Francis said "Many of our fears are tissue paper thin, and a single courageous step would carry us through them." My fear is tissue paper thin and I know this step to GO is courageous and WILL carry me through as I trust in God completely. Don't let your feelings and emotion crowd your judgment. Fear was not meant to be lived with but overcome. Whatever it is you might be going through, keep going, trust in God and you will OVERCOME! We were not created to survive, but to conquer!

YOU ARE A CONQUEROR!

Remember.... "Courage is rarely reckless or foolish...courage usually involves a highly realistic estimate of the odds that must be faced." - Margaret Truman, daughter of President Harry Truman

living wide awake,
Nikki