I have less than a month til a new season of life begins. I would be lying if I told you I was fearless and completely confident in my endeavoring. It is nerve racking leaving the dependence of a parent and seeking to make a life of your own. Responsibility is beginning to flood my mind with things that need to get done as well as what I need to do to get the things I need in order to conquer this world on my own (was that a run on sentence? did it even make sense?). I have been thinking about Jesus when He says we are to have child like faith and to cast our worries upon Him and make our request made known to Him. It has made me look at a child and there parent. They have no worries, no fears because they know there parents will take care of it, they only need to be obedient. It is the same with God, and we all know this, but rarely obey it. How easy life would be if we put this into practice. However, we all make mistakes and want to have control of our own life. This is my prayer above all else. That I would depend and rely on God completely! Being obedient to what He asks me to do.
The acting books I am reading continually remind you of how difficult it is to survive in LA and in show business. Majority of people give up after a few years. Somehow I feel like one of those people will not be me, but I am sure they thought the same. However, my ultimate goal is not to be rich. It's not that I would not want to be, it just not my reason for pursuing acting.
No matter what happens in this next season, I will be stronger having gone through it.
living wide awake,
Nikki
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