What do we really want?

Ever since I went to the Beth Moore conference a few weeks ago I am continually reminded of what she said about what we really want. "If you say you want something, but don't do what it takes to get it, you don't really want it." An obvious observation. However, how many times do we say I want this, OH! I really want to do that and never do what it takes to get it! I have been thinking about this a lot when it comes to my weight. I always say I WANT to lose weight, but the truth is I want to be skinny. Sounds like the same thing, but it's not. I want to wake up one day and be skinny and lose that 60 lbs overnight. I don't want to do the work to actually get there. I am usually ok with the fact that I am overweight, but then I look in my full body mirror every morning and think differently. I get the occational motivation to have self-control in this area and feel great about myself and then I get this crazy idea that I should reward myself with a bowl of ice cream and so the cycle begins. I know I will get the motivation someday. Real motivation, not the voice that says at the end of the night while your in bed that says tomorrow I will start to eat right and exercise. I no longer see that as motivation, but guilt from the mistake I made during the day when I ate that "granola bar" that was filled and covered in chocolate. That doesn't count.

living wide awake,
Nikki