Risk...Trust

There have been two words that I have constantly been hearing this past week. Trust and Risk. It seems everywhere I go I am reminded of these words. It could also be the fact that I am reading the book Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning, that is rocking my world. I attended a Beth Moore conference via stimulcast where she read Psalm 37, which talks a lot about delighting and trusting in God. The barista at Starbucks talked about taking risks when it comes to your future and what you want (she had no idea of my plans). Then tonight at church we had Brian Houston from Hillsong Australia speak and he spoke about taking risks and being unconventionl. Today, was a day of confirmation for me going to California. It seems the closer I get to leaving, the more my family is trying to get me to stay longer. They believe it is wiser to make more money so I won't have to "worry" about it. It's funny, cause I don't believe I have ever worried about that. The thing I find myself worried about the most is the right timing, but even that I know God is more powerful than time. I can make my plans, but I know He will determine my steps. I understand where they are coming from. They want me to be ok, but I want to live a life of adventure!

Risk does not come without trust. They are inseperable! To trust anyone is a risk we all have to take and in my very short inexperienced life I look back at my most amazing moments and my greatest adventures and they all involved taking the risk of trusting God completely!

Brian Houston said how I feel perfectly...
"If I lived out of the expectation of those who know me and my natural abilities, then I would not be living in the wonder of the unexpected. Out of a God encounter you can live in the unexpected wonder."

I will take risks and trust in God!

Psalm 37:25 says " I have been young and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread."

He will not forsake me, nor will He leave me begging for bread.

living wide awake,
Nikki

Moving to California!

I made a decision today, with the help of a very wise friend. I have decided to go to California in October. I think I just needed someone to say "Go! You are young and having nothing tying you down". She is right, and I am going to listen to her advise. The worst that can happen is I have to come back to Florida, which isn't that bad at all. Right now, I am still looking for contacts in LA, however I do have a place to stay in Sacramento if I am unable to find someone before I leave.

This is all exciting and nerve racking at the same time. I trust that God has it all under control and am excited to see His hand work in my life!

living wide awake,

Nikki

Live in Sacramento?

Today, I was told by a very close friend that lives in Sacramento, CA that I could stay with her until I got a job and a place to stay in LA. I was thrilled, but when she told me that, I also felt fear. Fear of the lack of security I have here living at home, fear of doing the wrong thing, not finding a job, leaving my family and the little girl I nanny for that I have come to love and care for dearly.

As this is sinking in I'm having second thoughts on whether or not this is the right thing to do. The God thing to do. A part of me feels if I don't leave now, I'll never leave. A big part of me is thinking ahead to the fact that my Dad is not going to be able to financially support me forever and I want to be financially independent. I don't want to have to rely on my daddy for money anymore. I am 22 almost 23 years old. I should be preparing to go on my own and I feel this move would not help me, but push me out the door.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. ~Ambrose Redmoon

Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow. ~Dan Rather

The mind of man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

living wide awake,
Nikki

A day of progress...?

Sunday, I had an idea. I am attending a friends wedding in Sacramento, CA in October and was planning on flying to LA to check out the area, then renting a car and driving up to the wedding. Then, I thought why not just drive there and stay there? School hasn't started yet and I have the ability to pack up and leave if I choose to do so. That being said yesterday afternoon and today I have been calling and emailing friends that I could get connected with or people they know I could connect with if I did plan on moving to LA in October.

The plan is, if everything works out I will move in October. If it doesn't then it is not yet time for me to go. I am hoping it all works out, but I ultimately want what God wants and I know my plans are in His hands.

living wide awake,
Nikki

What is living wide awake?

I don't think I can count how many times I have tried to start a blog and failed. I am not one who likes to talk about the weather, nor do I share deep things with everyone. However, I have aspirations and dreams and through this blog, I hope to maybe inspire others to follow there own dreams. Living wide awake came from the book "Wide Awake" by Erwin McManus. He writes about living your dreams wide awake. So many people have dreams, but so many are still sleeping and only wishing for those things to come true. We are called to live them!

I am currently a 22 year old student/part-time nanny with a dream to become a working actress/singer. Ever since I was between the ages of 5 and 7 I have had this dream. It all started with the film "Big Business" were my first inspiration came from Bette Midler. For a while I had the mindset that everyone wanted to become a famous actress and singer. Which, I later found out was not true. People want to be famous, not actors. What opened my eyes was one day at Barnes and Nobles this year. I read a quote that asked "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" Immediately "become an actress" was my first thought. Now, I am reading as many books on moving to LA and acting techniques, as well as taking improv and scene study classes. I soon plan on moving to LA. When, is entirely up to God.

This is my journey and I hope it to be a testimony of faith and inspiration to many.

living wide awake,

Nikki