Update...

The art of acting is a journey into discovery, if that makes any sense at all to you. You have to enter into every role allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable and to go to the core of who you are no matter how ugly, tarnished or painful it maybe for you. The more I learn about acting, the stronger desire I have to do it. It is the beauty of humanity through brokenness and it is for the world to see. I am discovering all new parts of me that I never new were there and am dealing with things in my life that I never thought were there. It's painful, but I love it. I love the authenticity that acting brings out of me alone and in front of 15 eye balls every morning in class. There is nothing on earth that I would rather be doing. I am not only learning how to act in front of a camera, but in life and learning to be ok with who I am and not give a fuck what anybody else thinks (excuse my french, it was purely for shock value and to get my point clearly across, don't worry I have not fallen away). It's hard and painful, but I am so grateful.

I was stuggling alot with acting becoming an idol in my life. Nothing God was convicting me of, just my own fears. Someone said, I think it was Meryl Streep, but I am a little unsure. They said when you get married to something like acting you give it everything. Something like that, and it's true. I have never been married, but that is how I feel toward my commitment to it. I am determined and committed to accomplish my goals as an actor. I won't settle for less. I will do whatever it takes, HELP ME GOD!

I have been editing my scene from a few weeks ago. The guy I did it with was editing it, but then decided he didn't want to be an actor and went back to his hometown. This will be my first. It is coming along, but very slowly due to my perfectionism with it. I am hoping to have it done and up on youtube in a week or so.

I am working on another scene that I thought would be a peice of cake. However, I was very wrong. It is takng all of me and its exhausting, but again I LOVE IT! :)

I did my first audition a week and a half ago. I didn't get the part I auditioned for, but they liked me so much, they gave me a different part. We are filming on Friday. Short notice, but I have grace. I am also auditioning for a feature film the school is doing on Friday, so it will be a long day, but a good day.

Hopefully, I won't wait so long until my next post.

living wide awake

Nikki